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The Archbishop of Rio de Janeiro says samba dancers should be arrested if they go ahead with plans to re-enact the Kama Sutra during the city’s 2004 carnival parade. Joaosinho Trinta, president of the Grande Rio samba school, has promised that sexual positions from the infamous sex manual will be demonstrated by dancers and giant sculptures.

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Tanzanian snake charmer Norbert Chenga is recommending that people avoid HIV and AIDS by following the example of African pythons, which take just a few seconds to mate. “If you spend a long time, the condom may burst and your protection against HIV/AIDS is lost. So we recommend the style of our pythons,” said Chenga. An AIDS charity spokesman called the advice “a bit of a nonsense.”

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